My body has impeccable timing.  I was diagnosed with Dehli Belly this morning.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delhi_Belly

The name does not do it justice in reference to the pain and frequent 10 minute trips to the bathroom last night.  But the Bollywood movie surely captures the horridness of this disease (although the movie does not center itself around it.)

So today I was supposed to give to presentations on the clarinet to two different schools.  I was excited about it.  At 4:00 am (IST), I woke up to wretched stomach pain.  I thought a couple of trips to the bathroom would clear it.  I was so wrong.  Every 5 – 10 minutes and I will not go into detail.  Read the Wikipedia link above.  It is pretty accurate.

The interesting thing was that I was in loads of pain and mad that I had to cancel my presentations at the same time.  The madness took my mind off of the pain.

Finally, at 6:00 am (IST), I woke my husband.  We talked about it for a half hour and then he went down to the front desk (no way I would make it) and had the hotel doctor summoned to my room.

It was not until 8:00 am (IST) that she arrived.  At this point, even seeing food made me want to get rid of anything I had left in my system which was not much (by the way, I am not pregnant if that is what you were wondering.)

She inspected me and gave me a prescription.  It was a good thing that I brought Zantac with me and used it because that is what she would have tried first.  I took it at 4 am (IST).  Total cost: $60 USD for an in-house visit.  She was professional and knowledgable too and her English was impeccable.  She gave me a list of what I could not eat and told me to sleep all day.  She knew it was Dehli Belly and not something worse because I had no fever or any other symptom.  She pushed down on my belly with her stethoscope and though it as tender, I did not feel pain.

I had to wait until 11 am (IST) to get my meds delivered to the hotel.  They are approved in the US but boy do they work.  When the hotel worker told me that I had to eat first in order to take the meds, I looked at him like he was crazy.  Eat?  I do not want to see food again for the rest of my life.  Please feed me through an IV.

I had a quarter of a small bowl of Rice Krispies and a liter and a half of water.  The pills were huge and I had to cut them in half for a total of four.  The nastiest things in the world and I threw one up.

The side effects are interesting.  My mind was clear (I wish that was blurred too to take my mind off the pain) but it blurred my vision making me extremely tired.  I only really woke up now at 3:28 pm (IST).  I am thinking I can go to Goa but do not want to push it.

So what does Dehli Belly really feel like?  Dung in all senses of the word.  I had a kidney stone once and it was on the same level as this.  I felt like someone was taking a razor and chipping off bits of my GI track and stomach little by little.  The pain would go in waves and I would have a fever due to my heart racing from the pain only but from nothing else.  I got loads of exercise to my frequent trips to the bathroom and walking around in circles (which helped.)

So how can I help you with your next visit to a developing country?

1.  Use the water pen that I bought from the US to zap impurities in the water, even if it is bottled and from a US 5 star hotel.

2.  Do not eat salad (just don’t), ice (don’t trust anyone), raw veggies and fruits, basically the healthy stuff.  It must all be cooked to a point it is unrecognizable.  My body was craving this too.  I wonder if I can survive on a diet of Rice Krispies and water next week.  However, if you need to lose a few pounds for some event, go against my advice.  It is painful but I dropped 10 pounds in one go.  NO I DID NOT PURPOSELY DO THIS TO LOSE WEIGHT!

3.  Do bring vitamins with you.  I have been taking chewy pre-natal pills for a while and after a couple of hours of taking the meds, I felt much better.  Men: you will not get pregnant from these and they taste good.

4.  Bring foods from the US that you are accustomed to that do not tear apart your stomach.  I want my Saltines now!

5.  Do not assume your hotel has anything that can help you.  There is no little pharmacy store here and it is in the middle of nowhere!  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  (That goes for plug conversions too.  That was a total nightmare!  Another story for another time.)

6.  India is a hot country (as in temperature).  If you mis-trust how something was stored, do not eat it.

7.  Also, do not feel pressured to eat what the locals eat.  You have a US stomach.  Even when the Indians go on tour in the US and come back after a few months, they do not each much of their own food either and follow the guidelines, especially the street food (stay away.)

8.  Stay away from the sugar cane water.  Even the locals, unless they have iron for stomachs, do not drink it.  If you want it that bad, ask a 5 star hotel to make it for you and even then, second guess that decision.

I am not being a snot about 5 star hotels are the best but they do follow US standards and guidelines (lawsuit central.)  Even the best of them can make you sick.  I stopped eating a lot three days before I got the Dehli Belly.  I am a light weight though but I can’t believe i lasted this long.  I would have been dog sick in NYC way before this.

Oh, and I got this wonderful bacteria on a day where it was over cast and cooler where I would be fully dressed performing in non-airconditioned places.  Not fair!

There are probably other bits of advice but I will leave you with this for now, shower, and pack for Goa.

I hope my presentations can be rescheduled next week.  I HATE FOOD RIGHT NOW!